Frank Lalone: He reads "People". He reads "Us". Midwest:
3rd Round:
The question on everyone's lips this week has been: "Who the F**K are K. T. Kunstall?" Well, people had better start wising up, because they're in the regional semi-final against the Hank "Sun Who" Williams Juniors. The Juniors, coming off a strong win over the Devo have apparently drawn the ire of Emperor Mark Ewing, who has vowed to "Do things to that hill-billy that were only HINTED at in 'Deliverance'". Security has been tightened around the arena in preparation for this matchup, seemingly against the wishes of Ewing. Ewing had issued a statement that the first 10,000 Kunstall fans at the game would be given a 'souvenire' 12-gauge shotgun, with 6 rounds of buckshot. I would say the odds are in favor of the Kunstall in this one. Kunstall 71, Hank 66
The Ravonettes will try to pick up the banner for their region from the fallen Devo squad. After dismantling new coach Frank LaLonde's "Fools" quintet, LaLonde spoke on the Ravonettes: "Are they good? I bet. Would they beat The Fools? I bet. Would I increase my bank account with this match? I bet." And the flip-side, The Foreigner were able to hold off The Pretenders, and bear watching. As Tony Signore pointed out following the game: "The ******' Pretenders just seemed to throw the ball up at random, not even trying to get near the bucket. **** them! **** them all! Oh, and did I say these pretzels ARE making me thirsty?" This is a tough call, but I'm going with the Ravonettes. Ravonettes 74, Foreigner 70
Kunstall over Hank (71-66)
Ravonettes over Foreigner (74-70)
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West:
3rd Round:
The Warren Zevon continue their quest for excellence against the Escovedo. Zevon (or, Zevo, as coach Mark Ewing refers to them, following The Devo's loss to 'that drunken cowboy' Hank Williams Junior) have been playing their usual steady game against proven opposition. The Escovedo seemed to luck out, facing The Tom Petty, who'd knocked off The Beatles in the opening round. I can't see Escovedo being anything more than a bump in the road for The Zevon. Warren 80, Escovedo 69
Ween has been cruising in their two games, while The Sweet somehow have made it into the "Sweet" Sixteen. It's hard to see The Sweet holding on against The Ween. Especially after their hard-earned victory against The Wall of Voodoo. I'm thinking they're going to have some bad mojo in their next game. Still, this could be one of the best games in the MSW 2k10 tournament. Ween 70, Sweet 65
Zevon over Escovedo (80-69)
Ween vs. Sweet (70-65)
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East:
3rd Round:
The Springsteen, led by coach Tony Signore, are gearing up to face a surprising Pink Floyd team. The Floyd have managed to storm past both Radiohead and The Wayne, but may be facing their hardest task in the tournament thus far. As Signore said after The Springsteen's victory over The Kiley: "Ain' no way no how no bushwhackin', horn-swagglin' SOB's gonna stop The Bruce. I can say from experience...we're on our way to Glory Hole...uh...Days...uh...DAMMIT, get that microphone out of here...There...that should hold the little bastards...WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE'RE STILL BROADCASTING?!" Technical problems ended the interview. I'm going to have to go with The Springsteen here. Bruce 83, Floyd 71
New coach Ed Kruska seemed to take The Sunshine Band's loss to The Drive-By Truckers in stride. Even going so far as to offer his assistance in the booth for The Truckers' next game against another rookie coach, Sandy Ewing. Meanwhile, Sandy Ewing had just one thing to say about the Truckers: "F**K!" That may put an end to her chances for color commentary later in her career, but seemed to show the style of play expected from her Kid Rock team. As the only squad in the sweet-sixteen coached by a rookie, I'd really like to see Kid advance, but common sense finally tells me that "This is a man's game". Truckers 78, Rock 75
Springsteen over Floyd (83-71)
Truckers over Rock (78-75)
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South:
3rd Round:
Nora Jones is preparing to face off against a very tired Beck team. That should work for The Jones' advantage. After Emperor Ewing refused The Stones' request for new colors in the key ("Those idiots wanted us to paint it black."), it seemed that The Jones' were ready to rock and roll. As for The Beck, they had to work late into the night, finally beating The Yoakam in overtime. I'd have to go with The Jones'...IF I were a betting person. Jones 90, Beck 68
Stormtroopers, as well as Rebel Alliance pilots are still amazed at the performance of the Dire Straits. After taking care of Roy Wiley Hubbard, they then proceeded to take down Tony Signore's Jackson Browne - the number-2 seed in the southern region. Can the run continue? Well, let me tell ya...I don't think so. Leon Russell has been playing solid hoops in their two games, and when the fat lady sings, I think the only ones who'll still be standing will be The Russells. Leon Russell 78, Dire Straits 71.
Jones over Beck (90-68)
Leon Russell over Dire Straits (78-71)
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LaLonde Laments, Kruska Kommiserates, SEwing Swoons
The rookie coaches, who all were successful at advancing past the first round in the MSW 2k10 tournament, have different takes on the extravaganza.
Frank LaLonde, who led The Fools to a devastating loss at the hands of The Ravonettes, seemed to take things in stride: "At least I made about $267.30...before AND after taxes." On being asked if he actually bet against his team said: "I'd be a Fool if I didn't."
Ed Kruska, who's Sunshine Band finally stalled against The Drive-By Truckers, was disappointed that he wouldn't meet fellow rookie Sandy Ewing's Kid Rock Five. However, Kruska mentioned that "She'd probably kill me..." if that had happened.
Sandy Ewing, who drove her Kid Rock squad like a Roman Battle Galley, would only sneer at anyone who mentioned the fact that "Well, she's a girl...she'll learn...Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?...I'm just kidding..." (mentioned by Emperor Mark Ewing, who tittered like a schoolgirl as he snuck off the podium before Sandy Ewing took center-stage). "I'll just have to show them all who's got the biggest balls of all." Said Sandy Ewing.
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