Tony Signore Looks to fire up his musicians in Team Meeting

(Ed note: this is an actual transcript of Tony Signore giving a dim-witted, often rambling propaganda piece made to motivate his players....read on)

I have met with several of my teams and they are all very excited to be at least mentioned at this point. Here is a brief excerpt from our team meeting:

ME: "Ok, what do we have? Plenty! That's what! Drive-by-truckers, welcome. We are looking for great things from you this year. We have several new teams and would like to welcome you as well. Jackson Browne, I see you sitting over in the corner. Good luck buddy. Now, what you all have to realize is that NONE of you are safe at this point."Pretenders: "We are."Me: "Oh yeah. Thanks Chrissy. You are locked in at 14. (Scratching my head and looking down at a clip-board) Almost forgot about you guys. Jenny Lewis and the Beck are locked in as well. But the rest of you really need to step up your game at this point. At least one will be eliminated due to the LaLonde pick. Sorry, that's just the way it is." (At this point I lean over and spit in a bucket for some reason.)

I would like to hear more from you on as many radio stations, elevators, dinning rooms, boom boxes, beach parties, frat parties, baby showers, out houses, chicken houses, homefronts, back doors, pig styes, and 8 track players as you can get your hands on. (Spit is flying out of my mouth by this time, hitting Radio Head in the face, but they don't even flinch! I also throw a green vis-a-vis marker at Elvis Costello) Wake up Costello! YOU ARE NOT SAFE!

Elvis Costello: Um yeah. I'm really not supposed to be here right now. I'm playing for Mark Ewing's team.

Me: Get out you money grubbing bastard. Anyone else want to leave? (As I look around the room all groups have their heads down staring at their feet). Right. That's what I thought. REM, get my a drink another drink, and wear that french maid's outfit I bought you. (Mumbling to myself in low hushed voice) Damn, this going to be a long-ass season.