Lalonde Welcomes Fools for his 10-Seed

Frank Lalonde kept his pick shrouded in secrecy till the last minute, but in the end, is anyone surprised?

Lalonde: "The Fools...I'm of course referring to those who think I'll select "The Fools". Well, who's the REAL Fool...The Fools, or The Fools who follow them? So, without any dignity to spare, I'll select..."The Fools".

Darth Vader Trophy Winners
2010-??
Previous Champions (Winners of the Darth Vadar Trophy)
2009- Niko Case over She & Him
2008- Regina Spektor over Dandy Warhols
2007- Buck Cherry
2006- The Killers
2005- Red Hot Chili Peppers
2004- The Wallflowers
2003- Train
2002- Led Zeppelin
2001- The Eagles
1979- Elton John
1978- Lobo
1977- KC & The Sunshine Band
1976- Chicago

Mark Ewing 1976-present; Ed Kruska 1976-1979; Sandy Ewing 2001-2007; Tony Signore 2008-present, Frank Lalonde off and on though-out.

Enigmatic Quote Forces Star Wars to possibly put in a 5 second delay for TV broadcasts....

"get my a drink another drink, and wear that french maid's outfit I bought you.".....said by Tony Signore during a team meeting.

Tony Signore Looks to fire up his musicians in Team Meeting

(Ed note: this is an actual transcript of Tony Signore giving a dim-witted, often rambling propaganda piece made to motivate his players....read on)

I have met with several of my teams and they are all very excited to be at least mentioned at this point. Here is a brief excerpt from our team meeting:

ME: "Ok, what do we have? Plenty! That's what! Drive-by-truckers, welcome. We are looking for great things from you this year. We have several new teams and would like to welcome you as well. Jackson Browne, I see you sitting over in the corner. Good luck buddy. Now, what you all have to realize is that NONE of you are safe at this point."Pretenders: "We are."Me: "Oh yeah. Thanks Chrissy. You are locked in at 14. (Scratching my head and looking down at a clip-board) Almost forgot about you guys. Jenny Lewis and the Beck are locked in as well. But the rest of you really need to step up your game at this point. At least one will be eliminated due to the LaLonde pick. Sorry, that's just the way it is." (At this point I lean over and spit in a bucket for some reason.)

I would like to hear more from you on as many radio stations, elevators, dinning rooms, boom boxes, beach parties, frat parties, baby showers, out houses, chicken houses, homefronts, back doors, pig styes, and 8 track players as you can get your hands on. (Spit is flying out of my mouth by this time, hitting Radio Head in the face, but they don't even flinch! I also throw a green vis-a-vis marker at Elvis Costello) Wake up Costello! YOU ARE NOT SAFE!

Elvis Costello: Um yeah. I'm really not supposed to be here right now. I'm playing for Mark Ewing's team.

Me: Get out you money grubbing bastard. Anyone else want to leave? (As I look around the room all groups have their heads down staring at their feet). Right. That's what I thought. REM, get my a drink another drink, and wear that french maid's outfit I bought you. (Mumbling to myself in low hushed voice) Damn, this going to be a long-ass season.

March Madness Dates and stuff

http://basketball.about.com/od/ncaatournament/a/ncaa-venues2010.htm


Opening Round: Tuesday, March 16
UD Arena, Dayton, OH
Host: University of Dayton
Grand Wizard Mark Ewing to be carried into the basketball court on the shoulders of Hooter Girls.

First and Second Rounds: Thursday and Saturday, March 18 and 20
New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, LA
Host: Tulane University
Dunkin Donuts Center, Providence, RI
Host: Big East Conference/Providence College
HP Pavilion, San Jose, CA
Host: San Jose State University
Spokane Memorial Arena, Spokane, WA
Host: Washington State University

Frank Lalonde Comedy Show: "I know you have mushrooms"
Tony Signore discusses farms he has visited in the midwest
Mark Ewing discusses his seeding strategy in "How to catch them with their pants down".
Guy with blue gloves to pass out pitchers of beer.

First and Second Rounds: Friday and Sunday, March 19 and 21
HSBC Arena, Buffalo, NY
Host: MAAC/Canisius/Niagara
Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena, Jacksonville, FL
Host: Jacksonville University
Bradley Center, Milwaukee, WI
Host: Marquette
Ford Center, Oklahoma City, OK
Host: Big 12 Conference

Storm Trooper Award Given.
Special Promotion: Tony Signore to race around basketball court as fast as he can. Betting is encouraged. Scoreboard will have stop-watch on view.



Regionals: Thursday and Saturday, March 25 and 27
East: Carrier Dome, Syracuse, NY
Host: Syracuse University
West: Energy Solutions Arena, Salt Lake City, UT
Host: University of Utah

Regionals: Friday and Sunday, March 26 and 28
Midwest: Edward Jones Dome, St. Louis, MO
Host: Missouri Valley Conference
South: Reliant Stadium, Houston TX
Host: University of Houston


Final Four: Saturday and Monday, April 3 and 5
Lucas Oil Stadium, Indianapolis, IN
Host: Butler University/Horizon League
Darth Vader Award Ceremony
Embarrassing photos and quotes of Tony/Frank/Mark/Ed to be on Jumbotron.

Phase One Star Wars 2010 Completed on 27Feb2010

Tony Signore and Mark Ewing met at a Sports Bar in Holland, Mi on 27Feb10. Both icons went for the Club Sandwich which was on special. Both ordered deliocious mugs of PBR beer. As the groups got nominated in, it was determined that a record 8 bands were on both lists. Wilco, Alejandro Escovedo, Elvis Costello, Nick Lowe, Niko Case, Beck, Jenny Lewis and the Pretenders were listed on both. A very complicated formula was used to find out which person ended up with which group, and when the dust settled, and perhaps 5 beers later Phase One was done. Mark finished his club sandwich, Tony took a styofoam container with his remaining sandwich parts and gave them to his dogs.

"I hate styrofoam", said a disgruntled Tony Signore and one point.

Mark got these groups, and locked in their Seeds: Wilco (3), Alejandro Escovedo (5), Elvis Costello (8), Nick Lowe (12), Niko Case (20).

Tony got these groups, and locked in their Seeds: Beck (4), Jenny Liewis (8), Pretenders (14).

The top seeds are as follows: Mark one-seeds: Devo, Warren Zevon. Tony one-seeds: Golden Smog, Nora Jones. The seeds are all subject to change in Phase Two, except for the 'locked-in seeds'.

"I knew you'd have Elvis Costello high", said a defiant Tony Signore.

Next up: Phase Two: locking in each and every group in their seeds. There will be an open period here were one can cut groups and pick up new ones. Trading is allowed for this limited time. Frank has still not named his 10-seed. Ed has already named KC and the Sunshine Band as his 10-seed.

Kruska Enters KC & the Sunshine Band into Star Wars 2010

On 25 Feb 2010, Ed Kruska, one of the original Star Wars planners was allowed to add one team into the 2010 tournament. Kruska has chosen KC & The Sunshine Band, I believe to be the very first winners of the 1978 Star Wars Ping Pong Championship.

"They will probably go in as a 10-seed,", said Mark Ewing. "I'll have to check with Tony Signore to see exactly how we will do it, but rest assured, KC is back in the saddle."

Frank Lalonde signs on as Star Wars Commentator

Stay tuned as Frank Lalonde will be back making his stone lead pipe fearless predictions.....

Be Stiff! Devo looks to be highest seed ever!

The Devo Spud Boys, with a new album scheduled for 2010, hope to get a high seeding from Mark Ewing this year. Devo has been in every Star Wars Tournament ever, but have never gone very far. Usually with no new albums coming out, they tend to start lower in the rankings. The few times Devo has been featured in a high seeding, they have failed to impress. With the collector's disk that came out, the Chicago concert appearance, and the new album, Devo is hitting on all cylinders. They could be a force.

Blind Boys of Alabama Banned from Star Wars 2010?

Grand Wizard of Star Wars 2010 Mark Ewing has announced the possible banning of The Blind Boys of Alabama from participating in the exciting tournament in 2010. "We feel they never should have been in Star Wars in the first place," said Ewing. "They are blind, fat, old and just not good very basketball players. They had a few songs that amused Tony Signore, but I don't think he really spends a lot of time hearing them. If he does listen to them, then he wastes a lot of time with his time wasting."
In other Star Wars news, Mark Ewing has announced he has seen the acid death heavy hot metal rock band THE FOREIGNER making strong waves to be voted very high up in the seedings, just so they can upset a bunch of 'stupid Signore teams'. Foreigner went very far in 2009, getting a big upset in and almost making the sweet 16. Stay tuned for much controversy and ill-feelings.

Gov't Mule looks to go further in 2010

Gov't Mule: Another group in Grand Rapids in late January 2010. The Mule got high marks for musicianship as well as dribbling skills. Look for the Mule to be given a pretty high seed from both Mark and Tony.